This morning, as I got little man dressed for school, I began composing a blog post about "navigating uncertainty."
I spent the weekend noticing how for someone as action and planning oriented such as me, our current state is highly challenging. I am mindfully noticing the frustration I feel every time there is a question that I can not answer. "Will you be re-enrolling the kids for gym class?" I can't say. "Will little man be attending afternoon lessons in the new year?" I'm not sure. "Will little miss sunshine begin pre-school in January?" It depends. "Will you be teaching next semester?" I'm considering it. "Will you be traveling over the holidays?" There is a chance. "When do you plan to visit home?" Who knows? "Will the kids have their adenoid and ear tube surgeries soon?" Possibly. "Have y'all found jobs?" No. "What will you do if...?" I don't know.
I just don't know about any of this. And, as I have shared on this blog before, this is not easy for me in the least bit. I would like to be decisive, informed, organized, systematic, and in control. I am not. Only yesterday I confessed to Charles how I was having a hard time with this. I think the ambiguity will "kill me softly" if I allow it to.
Notice how I actually decided to write about opening up to possibilities?
This is what happened to turn my perspective around. I received an unexpected phone call this morning. A big brother I never had but I adopted years ago growing up in Botswana, called. This brother of my heart, to whom I send the holy "rakhi" (Hindu festival celebrating the sibling bond), was the gift I needed most today. He was exhilerated, enthused, hopeful, excited and frankly thrilled with his recent trip home. He shared countless examples of people like us who decided to leave the grind in the United States and head home. A young man he met, started a condom factory. The first in Africa. The only African owned condom factory in the heart of the region struck with the highest HIV/AIDS infections in the world? Talk about socially responsible entrepreneurship. We can each of us do this. Why complicate it? It all begins with a simple step. All of this positive energy was contagious.
Midway into the conversation, we had affirmed that what we most need to do is take simple steps to realize our dreams, the purpose for which I was born to this life. For me, this is (to my knowledge) founding the first women's post-secondary college in southern (Sub-Saharan even) Africa. This "big idea" born of my unique life journey tugs at the recesses of my mind and spirit every day. And most days, it gets shelved.
There are many obstacles to achieving my dream "big idea." But, today I am choosing to open up to the boundless possibilities.
Thank you, brother for this priceless gift that I needed most.
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Lady G, live your dream! You'll never regret it when you follow your heart's true calling. Plus, then I can come visit you in Botswana!! Sometimes doors close so that others may open.
ReplyDeleteG. Lady! You write with an open spirit that you've always displayed in your own personal life. You write about life's current challenges as we perceive and experience them here in the West... and you are right to write about them honestly, allowing yourself to live the moment and the possibilities therein.
ReplyDeleteSo often, people talk about "the journey" being more interesting than the actual "destination". This is so true to the point of almost being addictive, as this much I can personally attest to. Just yesterday, I caught a glimpse of a news item on CNN, and it was about CNN's honoring a young lady who was every bit in our age group, for her heroic deeds in light of rebuilding people's lives after the tragic fiasco that Katrina became. And, all I could hear her saying was that the journey, and not necessarily the destination, is the joyous challenge that humbly fuels her resolve.
It would be quite the day when the sons and daughters of Africa can chance upon the current climate and make that first step towards seriously entertaining the truly gigantic mental shift that opportunities, both material and spiritual, await us there. There in Africa, awaiting us, are open-handed possibilities to reach further than the stars themsleves... and in that, there also lies what I believe is painfully illusive elsewhere. What you may ask? I earnestly believe that we will find our true worth and therein the rediscovery of what we have been purposed for.
I am past that first step... and Gaw'd hep meh... the journey feels estatic! RM
Love the big idea! How can I help? --Daska
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