Friday, May 1, 2009

Parenting ... oh so much pathwork

This is not an epiphany. Just saying...

My PathWork is so much about my life as a parent. And parenting offers me rich opportunities to rework my goals, aspirations, and life path.

So often parenting work, and yes, it is a lot of work, makes me question myself. So few tangible rewards. So much required. So many instances when patience was not where it should be. Raised the voice when I should have asked a question. Wondering if I handled the melt-down with compassion? So many times when I could go down the path of beating myself up.

It was one of those weeks. The kids were sick. They stayed home with me. We tested each other. I found myself feeling like a failure as a mother. It lasted a whole day. The feeling comes and goes but rarely does it last a whole day.

But today, there was a gift. A parenting gem:

Azad and Virika are sitting in my lap. We are relaxing on the back porch enjoying the gentle breeze. Virika pounds my chest repeatedly.
Mama: "Virika, be gentle."
Virika continues.
Mama: "Virika, gentle gentle."
Azad: "Do you want mama to die?"
Virika stops. (puzzled): "Die? What die mean?"
Mama is stunned into silence.
Azad: "It's when you leave earth and fly into space forever. And go to a building called the Abha Kingdom."
Virika, "Die? Fly away?"
Mama is still silent. Listening.
Azad, "Do you want mama to go away and never come back?"
Virika, "No."
Azad, "Then don't hit her chest. She may stop breathing and fly away."
Mama sigh. Holds and embraces them both. Kisses on each cheek for Azad.

This is not an epiphany. My PathWork is ALL about growing as a parent. Oh, so much work to do... but oh so many (invisible and intangible) rewards.

1 comment:

  1. The rewards come so unexpectedly don't they? Tiny whisps caught in the speed of the day, you have to listen hard for them sometimes. I really enjoyed your writing on this post. MH x