Monday, August 3, 2009

Reinventing myself... again

I have been mute. No urge to blog. Not much to verbalize either.

This happens to me when I am stewing. What am I stewing about?

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver

This is the question that keeps me up at night. It follows me around. I can not hide from it. It keeps me mute. It makes me mad. Why? I am raw with the knowledge that this life is precious, fleeting, impermanent. Each day is given to us but not a given. So each day that goes by that I am not living purposefully and fully, is a day wasted.

I want to count. I want my actions to matter. I want my days to have meaning and consequence. I fear that time will pass me by, and I will have very little to show for my share of this precious time here on earth.

I want to matter.

How will I do this? Stay tuned... I am reinventing myself.

It is exciting to some. It is frightening, daunting, and nerve-wracking too.

1 comment:

  1. I am staying tuned. I admire your desire to reinvent yourself! I think timeliness is part of this too. I know I'm not as patient as I need to be and enjoying the journey or the process needs to be brought to my attention, is it the same for you? I know it may seem cliche or perhaps even dull - but I do believe that every day you mother your children you are being challenged to develop qualities that are necessary for who you are becoming. The required balance of assertiveness with gentleness, the detachment and level of responsibility...then there's the self-discipline and the moderation. Mama, the list is endless with what you are required to do. This role is grooming you for what you will be capable of, don't consider it lightly.