Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Where are we now? A month later.

I have been "stewing," so to speak. A whirlwind of new thoughts, ideas, opportunities, activities... and alongside, new and re-emerging struggles, issues, and tasks.

A month ago, I started the blog to document the process of finding our way in uncertain times. Where are we today?

The times are still uncertain. Neither of us have jobs yet. No concrete decisions have been made yet. No definitive answers to the big questions: What's next for us? Are we moving? Are we staying put? Are we going to be able to pay the bills? Where will be in 2009?

Who knows? I don't know. And I am working proactively to be alright with the not-knowing. In days past, not knowing would have been equated with powerlessness, and failure on my part. I was always the student who wanted to know it all, and have the answers. I have always been a solution sleuth. I thrive on finding answers. For someone like me, not having answers could be tricky business.

I could become discouraged. I could feel helpless. I might even be vanquished by a plethora of insecurities and worries. I notice when these feelings begin to creep in. Then, I choose not to get sucked in.

To do this, I am vigilantly doing all the things that I have written about thus far. I am staying centered. Being present. Giving thanks. Enjoying myself. Focusing on who and what matters most. Accepting my situation just enough not to fight it. Forgiving myself when I falter.

I am also being proactive. This month, our collective goal was to GET OPTIONS. We were not going to limit ourselves by field, kind of work, geography, salary, you name it. We were just going to cast a wide net, put ourselves out there and see what comes to us. When we give thanks later this month, we will count our blessings, weigh out options and make plans.

That said, I am learning some really important lessons as I work diligently and creatively to get options. I am tempted to just get a job that will pay the bills. After all, most of us would say that is the practical and realistic thing to do. Just get a job. Any job. No matter what. Even though I know that there are certain options that are just not right for me. It is tempting to give in to the "practical" considerations.

I am resisting this temptation. Are these desperate times or just uncertain ones? Why would I entertain options that go against who I am? Why consider opportunities that violate my core values? Why negate the heart-work I have done to figure out and create my authentic path?

More on struggling to find and stay true to an authentic life path in the next post.

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